reflections

Dear friends
It has been a busy few days getting ready for school starting – exams and tests this term.  I’ve spent time with our children – cutting hair, laughing, exercising and shopping. The following has been on my mind.

When I look in the mirror, I see my four children in front of me 🙂 Does that make sense?

When I was much younger, I saw a girl with desires and dreams – do I look like one of my grandmothers, I often wondered?  I remember this one time seeing much more, I was about 11 years old; I saw that what was me, was more than the body reflected in the mirror, there was something deeper inside, behind my eyes.  I admit this freaked me out somewhat and I started crying, not quite understanding what I was feeling; I was almost inconsolable as I cried I don’t want to die! !   Somehow, my dear mother calmed me and I went to school late that day.

As I’ve grown, I’ve come to learn and understand that we do have our own spirit and body – me, I’ve always been me, regardless of my physical body, it’s age or condition.  I suppose that’s why we feel younger (or older) than our physical age! 

But now when I look in the mirror, I see our eldest son, his pioneering spirit; our eldest daughter, her wit; our youngest daughter, her creativity; our youngest son, his passion 🙂 Plus all the physical similarities though everyone sees the children’s resemblance to their father. 

This fills me with peace and joy, knowing that we are a part of each other.  As we’re all part of our loved ones.

What do you see when you look in the mirror?

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memories

Dear friends, what triggers memories for you?  The strongest memory trigger for me is music. I hear a piece of music, a song, and I am instantly taken back to a time and place far from my present circumstances. Allow me to share a few.

Van Morrison ‘Brown Eyed Girl’ – it came on the radio as a dear friend drove us to the temple in a Range Rover (that’s important because it’s one of my favourite cars and she’d managed to borrow one for the day 🙂 ) to be sealed, that means married not till ‘death do us part’ but, potentially (depending on our faithfulness) for eternity. Our friend made a comment that it was for my new husband, for us.

Kool & the Gang ‘Celebration’ – will always take me back to youth dances, in the first year after I was baptised.  I was 17 and loved the activities and dances but they were also awkward because I was the new girl, everyone had been friends for ever (it seemed) and I had little in common with my peers.  I spent most of the dances with the adult leaders who did speak with me and encouraged me.

Elton John ‘I’m Still Standing’ – I’m 14 or 15 years old and ready to face the world.  I loved the summer of this song – not for anything I did, I’m sure we would have done nothing spectacular as we never went on holidays.  But I must have been in upper secondary school,  I’d chosen my subjects, which included Engineering Drawing and I’d abandoned Biology 🙂 I knew what I was doing, what I wanted to be, how to get there and I knew I could get there. I was quietly very confident of my course in life, more than many in my friendship group.

I understand the role the Comforter has in helping us remember, John 14 v 26

… the Holy Ghost … shall teach you all things, and bring all things to your remembrance …

This is primarily referring, I think, to learning our Saviour’s teachings but I feel we need to remember events in our personal lives, they can give us courage and hope.

The point of all this is that I’m thinking of introducing a regular memory slot.  This will help me in my goal for ‘The Quiet Ones’ – if you don’t know what I’m talking about you need to read my ‘writing it down’ post from last week.

names

Dear friends, I finally delivered cards and gifts to local family members. It sounds bad I know; Christmas Eve was a long day & I  didn’t feel like driving around town delivering at night.  No one seemed offended so that was good!   When I called my 40 years old brother by my 16 years old son’s name for not the first time,  he suggested that I have some sort of mental disassociation where I really feel that age! Huh? I think it’s fairly usual for 40-something mothers of 4 to get some names mixed up; and that I’m allowed to amongst family!  What do you think?