having hope – it will be alright

Nothing really to do with post, but I was on a train while finishing this post so thought you might like a view!

Dear friends

It’s a month to go until the general election. 

It’s a couple days after the local elections – not in our area.

It’s great results for the government.

It’s dismal results for the opposition.

It’s concerning to me how the media can villify and how the public accept it – as if everything in the media is true! 
I work in local government and I live in an area with an opposition member of parliament and an area with majority vote remain rather than Brexit.

In this unfair society in which we live I’d be quite happy for high earners and high profit businesses to pay higher taxes to support publicly accessible and high standard education, health and social care services.  Hey, I’d pay more taxes if that were the guaranteed outcome!! 

But, in this unfair society, there are those who exploit, those who cheat, those who take advantage of others, and those who suffer.

I sat in a meeting this week to hear a headteacher say the school would have an ยฃ80k deficit within the next year, and there are others.

I sat in a meeting this week to hear a residential care home manager say they need more nursing care beds, needs of the elderly are increasing.

I sat in a meeting this week to hear my manager say that we may all be asked to do our jobs on less salary; we may have to apply for our jobs in the imminent restructure; he may be served a redundancy notice.

So much uncertainty. So many troubling issues.  

**(5 days pass…)**

But, I don’t feel hopeless.  I will keep hoping for a better world, because I know there is one.  

I read this verse in the scriptures (Moroni 9 verse 24) this morning: 

but I trust that I may see thee soon; for I have sacred records that I would deliver up unto thee.

This is a prophet writing to his son as they are separated and being hunted down by their enemies.  He did see his son and it occurred to me that his hope, his trust, was led by his understanding of a greater purpose, the bigger picture – which was the need for the sacred records to be safe.  

So even though I don’t know what to title this post which stayed as a draft, to a certain point, for nearly a week, I want it to be more hopeful than the way it startsโ€‹.

I know that we can have hope, when we know and understand the bigger picture.  We do not need to feel helpless nor hopeless.  There’sโ€‹ always someone who needs you and who only you can be  ๐Ÿ™‚  Take care! 

Why it will all work out!

next appointments…

Dear friends

The next appointments arrived at the weekend – pre-assessment and then an admissions appointment for surgery.  The latter under the care of Dr R, not the same consultant, and the procedures are not listed.  

I looked up Dr R.  He’s a gynaecological oncologist.

At least it’s only a few days to wait now.  I called to confirm the admission appointment, a week after the pre-assessment.  

I’m trying hard to not be anxious.  I’ve told my boss what’s happening – I don’t know if I’ll be in work towards the end of the month! And I’ve told a colleague I’m working with – our youngest son’s were born within days of each other. His son was diagnosed with retinal cancer months later.  We can talk.  He did say to me you’re religious, that will be a great help.  It is.  He understood that it’s the waiting for now; the not knowing what, if anything, is wrong; the silence from every health professional – we agreed that they must be trained not to mention cancer unless they’re fairly certain. The first medical professional to say it with their son was when they sat in Great Ormond Street hospital!  

So I’m hoping that next week they’ll be able to give some answers, let me know what will happen the week after, and what happens from there.  I’ll let you know ๐Ÿ™‚

thoughts on these times – September 11

Dear friends

It’s been a while but trust me, I’ve been particularly good with daily personal journal writing this last month or so.  It’s been busy with the end of summer, results days, back to school and college for the children and new year out assistants at work.

Today is September 11th. The day when 15 years ago, for many of us, life changed as we knew it.  I’ve seen a few things on Facebook – it’s probably a date that, so far, has defined 21st century government responses to war, conflict and terrorism.

When I moved to London, five years before those aeroplane attacks, I was aware of bins and post boxes being sealed, I’d experienced bomb scares in the underground; the IRA was the primary organisation identified but then I recall other attacks that began in Brixton, London with a nail bomb outside Iceland supermarket one morning.  Brixton is one of the black areas of London with high proportion of Caribbean and African descent residents.  It was truly awful.  Then, a week or so later, another similar bombing on Brick Lane, heart of one of the Asian London communities.  And then, Soho, Central London was targeted, a bar and 3 people died.  The attacker was arrested not long after.  A lone attacker, apparently a Neo Nazi. Having just checked BBC news, his attacks all took place within 13 days.  Living in London at the time, it was terrifying, not knowing if your community would be next and trying to maintain your regular life.  

I’m recalling this and thinking that 15 years ago was truly awful – the scale of impact I’d not experienced before.  I was at work, lunchtime, and a colleague was on the phone to her daughter who worked for an investment bank in the City (of London). My colleague began telling us what her daughter was relaying that the New York office said a plane had gone into a tower, and there was another.  We began logging into the internet and soon after my dear husband phoned, he was home with our two children, asking if I knew what was happening, that he was watching the news.  We know the rest. 

Things were awful then. And before that event.  And since that event.  Since then we’ve had the 7 July 2005 bomb attacks on the London Underground, the Nairobi, Kenya shopping mall, the school girls in Nigeria, Charlie Hebdo office, Norway youth attacks, Paris and Nice, France, not to mention numerous individuals who have lost their lives in tragic and seemingly avoidable or random circumstances.

But despite all this, I don’t despair.  I do have a hope and I do believe that life can be great and wonderful and happy ๐Ÿ™‚  We are not alone.  We never have been and the God of the universe knows us and stands ready and able to comfort and strengthen us through the craziest times and emotions that we may have to face.  

The Lord loves us.  Keep going! Strive!

This is a bit longer than I thought to write but hopefully this will be of help to you in some way and that you enjoy the video and the rest of your Sabbath day. 

Tender mercies

Dear friends
This past weekend has seen some miracles in my life, not large scale like parting the Red Sea but equally meaningful to me and I know the hand of the Lord was involved.ย  A prophet (Thomas S. Monson) has said:

The Lord is in the detail of our lives

I truly believe that and these are the details where I saw Him in my life the past few days.  I encourage you to look out for the Lord and the Holy Ghost at work in your life – Father is always there.

1. Finding matches: Some weeks ago we noticed the match box (we use them for lighting the gas cooker) was low. They were on the shopping list but last week when we went shopping we couldn’t find them in the household goods section. None. This wasn’t critical until this weekend but my dear husband still didn’t buy them.ย  Yesterday, Sunday we used the last few and I checked with dear husband that he still had a lighter (he’d bought them to light to cooker but I find them difficult to use without lighting my thumb!) So early this morning, resigned to using a lighter, I went to my husband’s desk to find one. As I dug around the top drawer, lo and behold!, I find a small box of safety matches!! ๐Ÿ™‚

2. The conference talk: last Sunday, after sacrament meetwith as I was getting the classroom ready, for the youth Sunday School class that I teach, I was asked to give a 10-15 minute talk on the Saturday evening session of stake conference, in 6 days.  (For those of you who are not LDS, this is a large local area meeting for the church, the Saturday evening for all adults, so typically around 200 people in attendance).  The presiding area seventy had made some changes to the proposed programme and asked me to speak.  No topic – I was to be inspired, like general conference (from Salt Lake City, for everyone #LDSconf).  I looked at him and said “Me?” I was a little incredulous but was assured that this is what the Lord wants.  So last week I prepared a talk, completing it in the early hours of Saturday morning, the theme being who are we and what is our relationship with God and each other.  I timed it, 11m 30s, and practised reading it a few times.  When I was asked to sit on the stand, beside another speaker (who said she’d received her assignment some weeks ago, with a verse of scripture to base it on), I still has no idea when I was speaking or the other topics.  As the meeting began, I peered forward to check the programme held by the stake president.  I saw my name, after the intermediate hymn and right before the visiting seventy.  I was the penultimate speaker, eeekk!!  I did, however, feel a great calm as each speaker spoke. And by the time the stake president had finished, I knew that the talk I had prepared was in fact the perfect summary of the previous three – right down to the stake president using a phrase which I had written.  It was one of the most sublime experiences that I’ve had and I am humbled to know that the Lord knew that I had the personal views and experience that would meet the stake’s needs for that meeting. (I’ll post my talk separately).

3. My tablet – I have a Samsung 10.1inch Galaxy Tab 3 tablet and since a little after Easter it has not charged, at all.  I had bought some new cables, left it charging, returned from work, and nothing.  The children were interrogated. I’ve never understood the full story – “Son1 killed it” “Daur2 switched it off!” “I didn’t touch it!” You know how it goes!  I took the back off, back on, left it to rest, tried again but nothing. So, I reluctantly decided to take it to a fixer shop at the end of this month (payday!), dreading how much I’d be charged.  This morning, as I was about to go to work, I thought, let me try again, and I set it to charge.  I’ve already learnt to be patient with devices… seconds later, the screen lit up with the battery symbol, charging!!  Yeah!!! ๐Ÿ™‚

PS – when I told our daughters about the tablet charging again, they gave each other a knowing glance and Daur2, we thought it might – maybe Heavenly Father took it away so it wasn’t a distraction while you were writing your talk!!

Wednesday calm…

Dear friends

You might notice a trend with my posts – I tend to write more on a Wednesday because all are out (youth activities), except our youngest and I can spend time cooking dinner.ย  Why is Wednesdays child full of woe? I love Wednesdays!!

I’ve spent some time checking the latest blogs from those I follow – there are some great thoughts, images, buildings and blogs out there. Thank you all for sharing a piece of yourself.

I’m feeling more miserable about work than usual; I checked out some job adverts and saw a part time one (in academia) and thought how that would give me the chance to explore some things that I want to.ย  Although my dear husband sees my misery it’s hard for him to encourage me to change the status quo.ย  Something is going to have to change!!ย  I’m not going into detail now but it’s not a happy place to work = ๐Ÿ˜ฆ

Thankfully back home is a refuge, a busy one, but a refuge. We’ve all got new passports now – that’s an investment in itself – and making plans for our holiday on the continent at the end of July.ย  A dear neighbour has said we can stay in their second house for a week. We’re all excited – the two youngest have not left these shores!

I feel blessed to find calm and solace in troubled times.ย  I know work will still be there tomorrow but sometimes you’ve got to let tomorrow take care of itself. Today is now and I want to enjoy the rest of today. The past is done. All I can change is the future and that hasn’t yet happened ๐Ÿ™‚